My Favourite Haunt
by DramionePerfected
Summary: 'This bathroom's already got someone haunting it, it doesn't need another.' An interesting conversation leads to an unlikely friendship. ONESHOT! Set OotP, 5th Year


_ONE-SHOT! Add to alerts and you will feel the full extent of my WRATH! Yes, some of the dialect IS based loosely on the Mighty Boosh. And yes, Boosh fans, the 'Weird Creature' is in fact Old Gregg. WHAT? I noticed ages ago that it's the Hogwarts Black Lake, and Howard and Vince go fishing on BLACK LAKE… so in theory, 'Ol' Greeeeegg' MUST be there! Right? No? Oh well. Get over it. ;) Oh, I'm such a badass. Many thanks to AmiliaPadfoot for reading over this first… she's the best._

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><p><em><strong>My Favourite Haunt<strong>_

"What do _you _want?"  
>"I could ask<em> you <em>the same question."

The two girls glared at each other, equally bitter and tear-stained. It was strange, really. So different, yet so alike. Too alike, in fact. That was the basis for most of their arguments: they annoyed there hell out of each other, though secretly, it was down to the fact that they annoyed themselves.

"So?"  
>"So what?"<br>"What _are_ you doing here?"  
>The younger girl simply raised her eyebrow. "It's a <em>bathroom, <em>Myrtle."  
>"And? The bathroom is a multipurpose area. Reading, writing… and hiding, and singing, and… and… um, hiding… and other, more, um, directly bathroom-related activities… <em>Don't pull that face! <em>Don't call me _stupid_!"  
>"It's hardly surprising. You never did finish school, did you?" With a deafening wail, Myrtle rose into the air before plummeting into the miserable silence of the U-bend. There was a long silence, then <em>she <em>spoke again. Didn't this girl _EVER_ shut up? "What do you _do _with yourself all day?"

"What's it to you?" Myrtle slowly rose from her cubicle, a look of sheer contempt on her face.  
>"Just interested." The younger said defensively, sniffing slightly.<br>"If you _must _know, I sometimes go to the lake. Believe it or not, there is actually somebody down there who can really understand me, and how I feel."  
>Myrtle's face contorted with anger as her company snorted in disbelief. "Really! Did they train the Giant Squid to talk?" <em>What a bitch, <em>Myrtle seethed.

"As a matter of fact, no. To be honest, I'm not certain if he… she… whatever, strange… creature… is a half-man half-fish or a more seventy/thirty split. Either way, for once it's someone who actually _listens_ to me!"  
>"Now don't start that again! Strewth, <em>I'm<em> trying, and Harry's always been polite, hasn't he?"  
>"Not exactly. He always seems rather on edge."<br>"Obviously. You watched him have a bath, you perv!"  
>Myrtle giggled as the colour rose in her cheeks. "Well…"<br>"Don't even _go _there, Myrtle. He's like my _brother."_

After the sea of giggles was finally over, Myrtle cast a steely look in the company's direction. "Why do you even come here, anyway?"  
>"I don't know. Memories? The fact it's the only bathroom I can assure nobody's going to disturb?"<br>"That's because it's _you_ that's doing the disturbing. This bathroom's already got someone haunting it, it doesn't need another." The girl laughed as she hopped up onto the edge of the sink, and pulled a book from her satchel. "_Wuthering Heights_." she said, acknowledging the confused look on Myrtles face. "Read it?"  
>"Do I <em>look<em> like I've read it?" Myrtle snapped.  
>"I'll take that as a no. You'd like it. Downright miserable, just like you."<p>

Just then, the school bell rang, loud and shrill. "Got to go."  
>"Good." Myrtle said, back to her visitor as to hide the grin on her face. "Hermione?"<br>"Yes, dearest?"  
>"Hate you."<br>Hermione smiled sadly, looking up at her almost-acquaintance._ "I know, Myrtle. I know."_

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><p><em>I actually haven't read <em>_**Wuthering Heights**__, but once I've finished __**Oliver Twist **__and __**The Old Curiosity Shop **__I'll give it a go. I'm trying to get into the classics, see. To be honest, I just like the song. Anyone see Noel Fielding dance to that? He was good. ;) nom. Much love, Natalie x R/R peeps x_


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